So many mixed fked up feelings, all over again.
Today is fked up, went to school, first thing i late again
Went back to class and got sent to principal again, next suspended.
Spend whole day in rtc, couselling, talk to ms seow.
After everything then still need to go for chinese tutorial. zzz. Went back home,
Bathed then wanted to study, Tian en kor ask me go out find him.
Then i say lazy, but that 3 biantai guys come to my door step fetch me force me come out..
Bobian, just changed walked to near cc there, john was at cc with his friends. So go cc say hi,
also wanted to buy drink from 7-11. Then just go lor, haiya. then go ler then,
Slack awhile more then find Gab. Then slack, then he send me home.
Then so i am posting. I really need to blog, because this post is specially for 2 ppl.
Hais, idk what to do, really idk........
i have to faster choose one before i lose both,
you both are great guys with totally different personalities.

G, i know you treat me damn good always trying your best to meet me,
everything you say and do is so sweet, i know you love me alot.
i really don't want to hurt you, But i really having alotalot of mixed feelings.
Like how i didn't really care or feel anything when you were pissed just now or sian.
i mean, i care but its cause i don't want to see you like that.
But also, i didn't understand why i felt different sometimes yet again.
Maybe its just cause you're so sweet, but i really don't know what i should do.
You're a good guy i know, i know you damn tx one. all these i know, but now.
I know you know what i'm talking about, i really don't want to hurt you.
Or see you sad or anything, you're still th nicest to me. And i'll still keep my promise.
But I really don't know what the fuck to do.
Hais...................

J, i know though we stead very short and i keep doubting everything you do.
Don't believe this, don't believe that, then attitude you. Then sad, then everything repeatrepeat.
Now i know, until now from th start you never lied to me, everytime i dont believe you,'
you say : wtv ue wan ok, no matter hw much i explain, ue wont believe mie either.
I think you also pekchek keep explaining things to me,
Everytime i just be so selfish only think that you don't care abt me,
When i nvr ever tried to think in yr shoes.
Now i think through i realised it is always you give in to me always
how much you don't want me sad so you let me win.
and i've realised how selfish i've been.
Today i thought you won't even bother to come in 7-11 say hi to me.
And when i saw you it just made me realised how badly i actually missed you.
I think i've always been there half there with you even when i'm not physically with you.
My mind is always thinking, you. Idk why, but it bothers me sometimes.
Do you really care, but now i really don't know what the fuck to do...
Sighs,
I wish i had th best of both worlds, but that is impossible.
I guess i'll have to make a choice, again.
zzz....

Labels: in nothing but your t-shirt on.

& Written at
12:11:00 AM

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